Street Cred

In ministry, you need street cred.

It's a simple concept, and everybody knows it's true. In youth ministry, the need is even more pronounced.

For instance, everybody knows that in youth ministry, you can "up" your rep with a few add-ons. You can also knock yourself down a few notches with misconceived ideas.

For example: a motorcycle gives you instant credibility. And specific motorcycles give different vibes. A senior pastor on a Harley is uber-cool; on the other hand, a youth pastor will want to get a two-wheeler that sacrifices comfort. Yep, you guessed right: the youth pastor who is serious about projecting street smarts will only ride a crotch rocket. Preferably in neon coloring.

Another instant-rep-giver that may be a bit more ubiquitous is the tattoo. Nothing proclaims "downness" like inked skin. And no, I am not talking about christian symbols like the cross, or ambiguous etches like thorns on the biceps. Dude, I am referring to confusing symbols that originate in the Far East. No youth pastor is complete without at least one. Trust me, youth ministry search committees will ask to see them. Going forward, I suggest going to interviews with tank tops and sleeveless mesh muscle shirts to portray seriousness.

No budding youth pastor is complete without body piercings. Abundance is key. In fact, the "maler" one is, the more exposed piercings are needed. Lips, eyes, elbows -- anywhere and everywhere. If you walk by a microscope and it it does not need to be recalibrated, you are simply not dedicated enough.

Yeah... it's true. Unconventional is in. It is trendy to be atypical. Shoe shines are not enough. Maturity can be a minus. Youth ministry is like gymnastics. 25 yrs of age makes you a senior citizen.

I am in trouble. I married wrong. The woman is perfect... but each time I brought up getting a bike, she ominously presented me with new life insurance policies. I finally gave up. I am not big on tattoos, and henna just doesn't give me the juice I need. The joke, however, is on y'all; I can get all the piercings I want.

Hmph.

Images courtesy of Wiki Commons.

Praise God

Street Cred