Retrusting God

A few weeks ago, I was coasting on a high. Things were really looking up; everything was pretty much lining up. More and more doors seemed to be opening simultaneously.

Then, the floor dropped out.

My nephew Nate, one of the sweetest kids you could ever hope to know, was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his brain. All this while going to hospital for something else

I have four nephews, all of whom I love dearly, and Nate is the youngest. Same age, in fact, as my son. The two of them are road dawgs; whenever they are together, you can count on joint operations of a destructive kind. We (the parents) always wondered how two 3-yr-olds could wreak so much havoc.

When the tumor was found, I went numb, and wrapped myself in the supposedly proper male facade of silent strength. My wife was devastated, and holding her while she cried allowed me to hide the condensation that immediately formed in my own eyes.

I prayed. We prayed. But somehow, the lump in my throat would not leave. At night, I cried. And the cycle repeated every day. Public prayer, and private tears, followed by more prayer and a few more tears

And then I became angry. I had reason to be, right? Forget the stuff I taught my youth for a quick second; I could divest myself of faith for a little bit... right? Right?!

Why did my nephew have to go through this? What did his parents do? Why did my boy have to have this dangerous mass pressing into his brain? WHY? Tell me... why. I have EVERY right to be angry and mad and infuriated. And helpless. And a little bit lower than optimal on the faith-o-meter.

No.

I'm gonna see this one through. I am gonna see my nephew win this. I am gonna be able to hold him again. I am gonna see him go through chemo, and probably get tired, maybe nauseous... but I am gonna see him beat this. Because I know, I believe that there is power in prayer, and that the God we serve is a God that still makes miracles happen. And every tear shed (like the ones dripping now) are just precursors to the tears of joy we'll be shedding on the other side of trial.

I am going to retrust God. I admit it may have to do with the fact that I have nothing else, but now that I am on this path, I'm in all the way.

Pray for my nephew, please. You'll be doing yourself a favor; you will want to know that you were part of this miracle, so get to it.

Love ya, nephew!

Retrusting God